A Love so Selfless…

A few weeks ago I was talking to one of my best friends about love, life, and legacy. Amid that conversation, I had an epiphany about who I am as a person. Not so loving! Yes, I said it, not so loving. Don’t get me wrong, I love myself at least that’s the one thing I am certain of and I may be the only person that I have ever truly loved. Loved in the purest form of love. You are probably thinking, I must be so evil but just give me a moment to explain and ask yourself this. Are you a lover yourself? Well, you already know I wasn’t till recently and I must admit this has also messed up my understanding and expectations of relationships. I have always loved with an expectation and whenever that expectation was not met, oh we would have real problems.

So what is selfless love? Allow me to draw from the one truth that holds in all things for its foundation is this very phenomenon we want to unravel here, the holy scriptures from the Bible. Recently, I started this culture of using the scriptures as my benchmark for everything. Whatever it is I have to act in reference to scripture. In response, I have had encounters where people asked me to be realistic and I thought this was quite interesting because what is realistic? Is realistic a defined benchmark of truth?

Well, I do not think so! Our perception of real is always drawn from some culture as a reference point and if popular culture is yours, you picked the right article today. God remembered you and this is for you. The written word in the bible is the only culture that has withstood the test of time. Its philosophies have held through different definitions of popular. Imagine from the creation of time to the very present age. Only the truth can remain the same and therefore its definition of love. But this isn’t just any perception of love. Rather, it is the love that God showed when He gave us Christ, John 3:16, as fully demonstrated in the implications of the fulfillment of that action, our very salvation, Galatians 1:3-4.

Shirley, are you saying love is salvation? Maybe I am! Simply put, the way you love should rescue people from whatever form of bondage they have been subject to. Galatians 1:4 says Christ’s demonstration of love saved, sanctified, and rescued us from all evil bondage. Everybody is fighting or subject to something and if your definition of love is at par with this, I wonder if it’s worth it. I know pop culture says, you are your priority but let’s not forget our benchmark of truth. That truth says you are called to a life of service where you prioritize the interests of others over your own. That thing you think you are good at, yes that, well sorry to break it to you, it was never meant to flourish you but rather serve those around you. It is in true service that you then begin to flourish as you were meant to.

One philosophical question that I have had to carry over the years is the reason for my existence. Yes, we all talk about impact, right and wrong but whose scales are we using? Some may say humanity but, who amongst us defines that truth, can’t be all humanity? One thing that we have been consistent in as people is disagreeing, so we can’t say humanity has a truth or a scale of truth for that matter. Again, it has led me to this very place, the biblical truth, that there is a God who made all things and humanity in his likeness and for that reason gave a manual on how to walk that likeness. As such, if He says love should result in salvation then love should result in salvation, and that salvation should look like what it is supposed to look like. Galatians 1:3 says grace and peace in the measure given by the one who loved and made the sacrifice abound, while you are pouring your perception of love ensure that the receiver experiences grace and peace.

We went on ahead and looked at the expected or rather the required full measure of selfless love but what is it? Selfless love is sacrifice! Yes, that is it! That is the mystery of it all, there in one word, sacrifice. Ephesians 5:2 says to walk in love as Christ loved and sacrificed himself so that we may have life and have it in abundance, John 10:10. Try not to look at this materialistically but rather emotionally and spiritually. What has been the emotional and spiritual state of those you claim to love? Is it for them or it’s always about you? Is it your security first before you think of anyone else? Well, you are not alone, now you know how I felt when I realized that all these heartbreaks and “pains” were no one’s but my own fault.

It hurt not because I loved but because I couldn’t get what I wanted. I couldn’t control the person or get them to act “right” and again this is by my standards as influenced by pop culture, not biblical truth. Not that I am saying they loved right but I am obviously in no place to judge since I have never loved myself. Ephesians 5 has become my definition of selfless love and the standard I hold everyone including myself against. This scripture says to hold others in higher regard than you hold yourself, and make them your priority because they matter more than you for if we could all perceive each other like this, there wouldn’t be any room for evil in us or in this world.

I know what you are thinking and I have been there friend! But if this is how you ought to walk that God-likeness then, it means it can be done. I am still yet to love like that myself but I can safely say that by the power of God working in me through the Holy Spirit who dwells within me, one day is one day.